Tennis – Review

Priced at just under £5 Tennis is one of the cheapest games on the Switch eshop. Boasting simple controls and promising to bring you “the joy that tennis brings” surely even a cheap game by a tiny developer can capture at least some of the fun of tennis? It’s not that hard… right?

Related image
The promotional image for Tennis

First impressions were poor. All 139MB of game loaded almost instantly, a sure guarantee of quality, and I was greeted by the main menu. Problems arose almost immediately when I attempted to navigate said menu. Controlling the very erratic and overly sensitive select pointer with a joystick is an immensely frustrating experience.

 

You are offered a choice of “Rally challenge”, “Tournament” and “Custom play” (although good luck actually being able to select any of them with the pointer). All three modes are pretty much the same. In “Rally challenge” you try and keep a long rally and if you miss the ball you fail. In “Tournament” you need to hit the ball back and forth and if you miss twice you fail. “Custom play” is just the tournament mode except you can choose the map you play and your opponent.

After you’ve picked a mode you are subjected to Tennis‘ “gameplay”. Gameplay is so barebones it may as well be a skeleton. You have one button. The A button. This button serves and hits. This will be the only button you press in the course of a match as your character is piloted by not you, but an AI. There isn’t much in the way of challenge. You just press the A button. Forever. The game is also touchscreen compatible, so once your A button breaks from overuse you can tap until you have RSI.

In the music department, things are just monotonous royalty free loops which slowly bore into your brain with every minute spent playing. The voice acting for characters is awful, each character has a grunting noise for hits and a line they say when they win. Every character is uniquely cringeworthy and painful in their own rights.

This is all Tennis has to offer bar achievements, which are generally variations of “hit the ball X many times”. Collecting all the achievements might do something, but I doubt anyone will ever play more than 10 minutes of this game to find out.

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